God

One day, a fine young man drop into a river. Then, a man with a boat came to him.


Man: Hey, need any help?
Young man: No, God will save me.


Then the man went off with the boat.


After few minutes later, another man with a boat came to him.


Man: Hey, need any help?
Young man: No, God will save me.


At last, he was drowned and was send to heaven.


When he was in heaven, he asked God," God, why didn't you save me?"
God answered," I gave you two men with a boat lah dummy."


-ZOEII-

3 Blondes

One day, three blondes escape from the jail. They had no place to hide so they kept running until they find a small hut.. In that small hut, they were three groceries bag. The polices were chasing after them, they ran into the small hut to check.. They saw only three groceries bag. Juts to make sure of it, one of the police kick the 1st bag. The 1st blonde meow like a kitten. So, the police thought it was a cat so he walk to the other bag. The 2nd blonde rowf like a dog. So, the police thought it was a dog so he walk to the last bad. He kicked the last bag, the 3rd blonde said potatoes... At last, she got caught. HAHA!!


-ZOEII-

Eli's dirty joke

Futurerama's good jokes about three different man having pleasure with tonnes of women but they were caught by the chief of these women .. Guess what happen to them?


-ZOEII-

4 Chinese Man

4 Chinese man wanted to go to America and study..
There are Chu, Bu, Fu and Su..  
They want to fit in the America world,
so they plan to change their name..
Just to get an American name..
Chu named himself as Chuck..
Bu named himself as Buck..
Fu and Su just walks away..


LOL..


-ZOEII-

HOW AWESOME I AM

"The difference between ME and SUPERMAN is I wear my underwear INSIDE of my pants". HAHA

-BAD-

Beggar

One fine day, Beggar A and Beggar B went for a walk in the streets.. The two beggars have been starved for days.. They didn't eat any food for at least a week.. Then, they saw a packet of rice on the middle of the road.. The two of them ran to the packet of rice immediately.. The packet of rice is covered with dirt.. But they were too hungry..


Beggar A: Finally, food!
Beggar B: So, half half as usual?
Beggar A: Erm.. Its okay, you eat first..
Beggar B: You sure? Thanks a lot.. I owe you one..
Beggar A: Sure! Enjoy..
Beggar B put the rice into his mouth and bite it.. After eating, he couldn't take the dirt is in his mouth.. So, he vomited.. 
Beggar B: So how now?
Beggar A: Thank you mate! Its warm now..


-ZOEII-

The church

There is a girl who goes to the church one day.. She walks up the stairs.. As the priest is walking by, he looks up and notices that this girl is not wearing any panties.. The priest calls the girl and gives her $20 and says,"Little girl, take this money and buy yourself some panties, alright? Its not proper to walk around without any panties on.." The girl goes home and gives the money to her mother and asks her mother to buy her some panties for her.. When the mother asked her where she got the money, the girl explained the whole scenario to her mother.. Upon hearing how the girl got the money, the mother rushes to her room, whips off her panties,puts on one of her shortest dresses and runs out of the house.. Her mother went to the church also.. As soon as the mother sees the priest coming, she begins to walk up the stairs.. The priest then notices the lady and calls her down.. The woman not wanting to show that she is expecting anything, she walks back to the priest calmly. The priest hands the mother $1 and says," Lady, take this money and for God's sake, go buy yourself a razor!"


-ZOEII-

Apple trees

One day, there was a girl and some boys hanging out beside the apple tree.. Then, one of the boy asked the girl to climb up the apple tree to pick some apples down for them.. But the main motive was to see the girl's underwear.. Then, the girl's mother saw.. After the girl went back home, her mum told her not to climb up the trees to pick up apples for the boys because the boys' intention were to check out her underwear.. Then, few days later, the boys met the girl again.. They went to the apple tree.. The boys ask the girl to climb up the tree to pick up apples again.. This time her mother saw it again.. Then, the boys left.. Her mum got so mad she scolded her daughter, "how many times must i tell you not to climb up the tree, they want to see your underwear, why can't you listen to me?" But the girl replied," Mum, this time I am cleverer, I never wear underwear."


-ZOEII-

The magical lamp

One day, three young man walk to the jungle. One was a Chinese guy, one was a Malay guy and one was an Indian guy. They were all good friends.. They walked to the jungle like they used to do every day.. One fine day, when they were walking to the jungle, the Chinese guy kicked on to something hard.. It was a magical lamp.. So, the Chinese guy held it up and touched it.. A genie came out from the magical lamp.. He said," I shall grant a wish for the three of you. It can be anything.. But, this spell will work for ten years.. I will put you in a cave with the things you wished for.. So, now, what are your wishes?" The Chinese guy wished for uncountable women.. The genie gave out his magic words and the cave door opened.. The Chinese guy walked in and there were so many women in that cave.. Then, the cave door closed.. The Indian guy wished for uncountable food.. The genie gave his magic words and the cave door opened again.. In that cave, there were gazillion or more food.. Then the Indian guy walked in with his happy face and the door closed.. The Malay guy wished for uncountable cigarettes.. The genie gave his magical words again and the cave door opened with lots of cigarattes and closed after the Malay guy walked in.. After ten years, the genie opened each door for the three young guy.. He first opened the cave door where the Chinese guy walked in, the men ended up with uncountable kids.. Then, the genie opened the cave door where the Indian guy walked in ten years ago, he ended up getting himself so fat that he couldn't walk through the door.. And for the last door which the Malay guy walked in, the genie open the door.. And guess what happened to the Malay guy?

"Bro, ada lighter tak?"

-ZOEII-